I have talked to many guys, guys like myself and you, and all the men I am around, but also the men at my church and the guys in my men’s group(s). And something’s become clear to me. Whether or not we talk openly about it, nearly all of us wonder… What authentic, healthy masculinity looks like in our modern world? How does success fit in? How about money? How about faith?

We all want to be good me, probably great men. What does that mean in today’s terms? The line has been moved almost like a moving target for what a good husband is. A good father? A good friend? Now more than ever, there are forces and outer groups trying to change the way we experience or are supposed to experience being a man. People and groups(s) that are not even men get to say how we should act now. So how do we define who we are today?

I see groups saying who we should be or how we are to act. When in the gym working out, if we are looking in a direction while working out and there happens to be a woman or person(s) in that general vicinity, we are being creepy; when we were so focused we didn’t even those people were there in the first place. Being called out for trying to work out. 

Having a conversation and a guy within the group or someone records it, no one knows it, then that conversation pops up later on social media with everyone tearing the worst speakers down.  First two issues that was a conversation between you and your group a private conversation. Secondly, if you knew what was about to be said, you have removed yourself from that situation. I suggest that a person’s space between their ears is theirs and theirs alone. Just because you have a conversation recorded, knowing it was going to show them in a negative light doesn’t mean you get to cancel that person or that group(s) of people. The cancellation of a person has been too real, with the weaker of society holding the reigns on who gets what punishments.

I come from a time when what was between your ears was yours, and that was all right. Why can’t people of today put the phone down; I mean that is your device the other person on the other end of it can’t hurt me. I can just lay it down and that stops the conversation. I control who has access to me. We as men have to define who we are and not allow the world to do that for us.

Lastly, find a purpose with GOD and ask him what path you should take and where your purpose lies. He will gladly answer you and get you on your way.